Revision Exercise #1: The Meaning of
Shel Silverstein
Joyce R. Walker
NOTE: The first exercise in this series of two is designed to
be an introduction to computer revision. Its purpose is to expose students
(originally in the computer section of Comp. 101-Special Admissions) to the process of
cutting and pasting in Microsoft Word, and also to point out, in a humorous way, the
benefits of reorganizing and revising writing. This activity is to be followed by: Revision Exercise #2: Sentence Level Revision for Coherence and
Transition.
Discussion of the Activity: In this first assignment the
students work in groups in the computer lab. Each group is given a disk which
contains a poem by Shel Silverstein, "The Unicorn." The poem they see when
they open the document will not be readable, however, because all of the lines within the
verses and refrains, as well as the verses and refrains themselves, have been
dis-organized. (Click here to see the original version of
"The Unicorn.") The students will work in groups, three or four to a group,
to try to re-order the poem correctly. The instructions for the assignment are on
the disk which the students receive. (This way, if there are students missing from
class, they will be able to get the disk and complete the assignment outside of class.)
I chose the Shel Silverstein poem for several reasons. It had a good
structure, verses and refrains with four lines each, and so was not too difficult to
dis-organize. This same structure gave the students clues to how the poem was
supposed to be ordered, and they were able to use this to help the re-order the poem. The
poem is humorous and uses an interesting dialect, and I felt this would make the exercise
more fun for the students. Also, the story, which is an explanation for why there
aren't any unicorns any more (because they were goofing off when Noah set sail in the Ark
at the beginning of the flood and they missed the boat), is likely to be familiar to most
students, and they can use this knowledge to help them create the proper order of events.
Because I wanted this exercise to introduce them to the computer program, as well
as to the idea of revision for coherence, I chose to use this humorous poem to pique their
interest before moving on to revision of their own writing. It's a little bit like
hiding pills in jelly.
I chose to do an exercise which required the students to do cutting and
pasting, because some of them did not have very extensive computer experience. This
exercise helped them to become familiar with Microsoft Word's revision tools, which helped
them to revise their own writing as the semester progressed.
In addition to this, I wished to give them a fun and not-too-serious
example of the plain fact that, unless we arrange our thoughts coherently, our writing
does not help us to communicate our ideas to others. This concept ties in to the
next revision assignment, which also involves using the computer.
I feel that this type of revision assignment could be fun, interesting,
and useful for any class of writers who are also attempting to become familiar with
computer writing and editing. It could be used for High School of Junior High School
classes, or even as an ice-breaker exercise in a class which is attempting to teach
writing as a computer skill to adults in the workplace.
The Activity:
"The Unicorn" by Shel Silverstein
The poem which follows has been totally rearranged. What I'd like
you to do is put the poem "Back Together" by arranging all of the lines in their
proper order. You will know when you have accomplished your goal, because the poem
tells a story about Noah and the Flood and some unicorns. It has a beginning,
middle, and end, and all you have to do is figure out what goes where.
In this poem there are 5 verses, each with 4 lines. The verses are
not indented. there are also 5 refrains, which are all 4 lines but one, which is 8
lines. The refrains are all indented 3 spaces. you can see all of this just by
looking at the poem. However, all of the verses and refrains have had their lines
mixed up by me. Then I took all of the verses and rearranged them, and all of the
refrains and moved them around, too. It's a mess.
Just a hint: The first verse of the poem is actually first here, so
that will give you something to start with; and the very first line of the poem is "A
long time ago, when the earth was green."
In order to change the lines around, you move your mouse to the beginning
of the line you want to move. Then, holding the clicker down, you move the mouse
across the line. This makes sort of a black box over that line. When you get
to the end of the line, just lift your finger off of the clicker. The black box
should stay.
Then you go up to the EDIT menu and bring it down by holding down the
clicker. When your black line is over "CUT," let it go. This will
ERASE the line you selected, but don't worry, it's not gone. Just move your cursor
to the place you want to move the line to and click once. Then bring down the edit
menu again and let up the clicker when your black line is over "PASTE."
The line will reappear in the spot you've selected. **One thing to remember:
Don't choose anything else in between "cutting" and "pasting," or the
line you chose first will not be retrievable!
Well, get started and ask me if you have any questions.
"The Unicorn"
And they run around free while the world was bein' born.
A long time ago, when the earth was green
And the loveliest of all was the Unicorn.
And there was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
You'll see catsandratsandelephants,
but sure as you're born
You'll see humpy bumpy camels and
lots of chimpanzees.
You'll see a lot of alligators and
a whole mess of geese.
You're never gonna see no Unicorn.
And he finished up the ark just as the rain started fallin'.
Now Noah was there, and he answered the callin',
And he called out as they went through.
He marched the animals in two by two,
"Cause I just don't see no
Unicorn."
Your humpy bumpy camels and your
two chimpanzees.
"Hey Lord, I got your two
alligators and your couple of geese,
Got your catsandratsandelephants -
but Lord, I'm so forlorn
He says, "Stand back I'm gonna make it rain."
Go and build me a floatin' zoo.
He says, "Hey Brother Noah, I'll tell ya watcha do,
But the Lord seen some sinnin', and it caused him pain.
Noah, don't you forget my
Unicorn."
And you take two alligators, and a
couple of geese,
Take two catsandratsandelephants,
but sure as you're born
Two humpy bumpy camels and two
chimpanzees.
And the Unicorns looked up from the rock and cried.
That's why you've never seen a Unicorn to this day.
And the water come up and sort of floated them away -
Then the ark started movin' and it drifted with the tide,
Then the goat started goatin', and
the snake started snakin',
The mouse started squeekin', and
the lion started roarin',
The elephant started elephantin',
and the boat started shakin'
And everyone's aboard but the
Unicorn.
The humpy bumpy camel and the
chimpanzees.
I mean the green alligators and the
long-necked geese,
Noah cried, "Close the door
'cause the rain is pourin'' -
And we just can't wait for them
Unicorn."
Ol' Noah looked out through the drivin' rain,
They were kickin' and splashin' in the misty morn,
But the Unicorn were hidin', playin' silly games.
Oh them silly Unicorn.
There was green alligators and
long-necked geese,
There was catsandratsandelephants,
but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the
Unicorn.
There was humpy bumpy camels and
chimpanzees.
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